let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
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My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
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Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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