Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize