what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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