I haven't been this sober since birth.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize