We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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