More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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