So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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