Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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