I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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