Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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