it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize