Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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