she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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