Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize