dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
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I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
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I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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