i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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