He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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