Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize