I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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