So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize