STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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