She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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