Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize