Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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