I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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