didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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