Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
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just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
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My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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