I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
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eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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