So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize