No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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