I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
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Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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