Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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