atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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