Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize