Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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