I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize