i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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