I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize