So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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