just tell him i said nine months
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
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That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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