I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize