I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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