just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I am naked and annoyed.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize