If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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