i just google imaged poop.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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