I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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