Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize