summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize