after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
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That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize