so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
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